its 2.38 am and im wide awake. i went to bed at 11.something and fell asleep ok, but then about an hour ago (i think, didnt actually check the time) i woke up and couldnt get back to sleep for the life of me, so i thought, hey, why not write something, get whatever is on your mind out of your system and maybe then you can sleep. coincidentally, the baby woke up too, so i had to give him a bottle (well, cup technically) we stopped the nighttime feedings a while ago, but the last thing i feel like dealing with right now is a hungry or thirsty baby. plus its really f*cking hot here, so its proly not such a bad idea for him to drink more, right?
soooo, i guess tomorrow is gonna suck.....lol
i spent half the night trying desperatly to figure out where the hell i can find an arts & crafts store in this stoopid city, because i really wanna start drawing more again, (i wrote another blog on this that i havent made public yet, maybe never will) but i cant without at least some basic supplies and buying it online is pretty expensive and i cant really judge the quality, ya know?
ome to think of it, the only arts & crafts store i remember seeing in this country was in mainz. i cant remember there being one in any of the other cities i lived in (and i've lived in quite a few for someone my age!). i think im gonna go eat something, maybe that'll help me sleep.................

or maybe i dont have much of an appitite or in any case im too lazy too chew right now, so i made myself some warm chocolate milk. i hope it helps....
if you havent caught on by now, this post is of absolutely no interest to anyone except me. its just me rambling about how i cant sleep.

im thinking that i might have overloaded my brain a little. the post i wrotw earlier today, used up alot of my brainjuice, but theres so much other crap on my mind that needs pondering. does anyone have any free brainspace they could lend me or rent out? aaawww come on, i know most of you barely use half of what you got, so why not let me have some of it? ;)
and, since im already asking the impossible, could someone sell me some time? like, maybe 2 or 3 extra hours per day? that of course, the baby would use for a long nap! (does he even qualify as a baby now that he's 1? proly not, but since hes neither walking nor talking yet, he's a baby to me)
ok, i dont think im capable of writing anything useful at this point, so im taking my chocolate milk and my sketchbook and going back to bed. i guess i'll just draw (with my crappy pencil) until i get tired enough to sleep. G'night all!
(it is now 3.08M)

its now 5.43 am, all my attempts to go to sleep have failed so i said f*ck it. im staying up, i guess today is REALLY gonna suck......
i have learned something tonight though, several things in fact:
1. after giving up coffee for a few months, my caffeine tolerance isnt what it used to be. (2 big mugs of coffee before bedtime=bad idea!)
2. candle light is BAD for drawing (DUH!)
3. cheap pencils are also VERY bad for drawing (same goes for cheap paper)
4.i can proly get some drawing utensils from the home improvement store near me, i know i saw some oil paint and stuff like that there, so im sure they have some friggin pencils and stuff, right? RIGHT?
5. lighting 20 something candles in a mid-sized room in the middle of summer, makes for a VERY warm room.
6. mixing 7 different scents of candles, including lemon pie, clean linen, moccha, strawberries and cream, vanilla and some other stuff, makes for a really strange odor.


stupid pic wont resize....ggrrrrrrr....
heres a pic of my bed this morning (this is very NEAT for me....lol) all those pencils are going in the trash TODAY. they SUCK. what a waste of 1.59 euro! (little over 2 dollars)


i just checked www.mikeshinoda.com, he just posted a new muxtape (http://mikeshinoda.muxtape.com/) so at least now i have something interesting to listen to while im trying to get through this day (wish me luck lol)
ok, gonna go get me some coffee and then try to find something productive to do....(yeah right lol)


Christina said...

Hey you! Glad to have a way to keep in touch with you, although I'm sorry to read about your insomnia, that sucks! Do you have any big stores around like Kaufhof or Hertie or Walmart that might sell art supplies? I remember how hard shopping can be in Germany, I completely sympathize with your plight!

Hope you get some sleep today. XO

Lisa said...

LOL, I HATE nights like that. You want to do something, but don't know what. You want to sleep but can't. Grrrr. I've often had one of those nights and ended up cleaning the whole house while everyone else sleeps. Then of course you're exhausted the next day and can't function.
Hope you can catch a nap!